Sexual Abuse

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"Being" Well

VICTIM THINKING

Circumstances, tragedies, and relationships often leave behind victims. A victim is a person who has endured hardship or loss of a person who is treated badly or who has been taken advantage of. Victims are usually vulnerable and weak. Being a victim can be devastating and crippling, but even more destructive is remaining in the victim role. Staying in the victim mindset allows the perpetrator, the addict, the irresponsible person, the disease, etc. to be in control. It also makes the victim more susceptible to further victimization. What is sometimes perceived as bad luck is frequently short sightedness and a feeling of powerlessness that have been allowed to control thoughts and behavioral responses. Victim thinking is represented by continual responses like the following:

• Why me?
• What did I do to deserve this?
• If only he would take some responsibility.
• I'll never be able to trust anyone again.
• She ruins everything for me.
• This illness has robbed me of any chance of happiness.
• I can't go anywhere because he embarrasses me wherever we go.

Carl Rogers believes that "below the level of the problem situation each person is asking, 'Who am I, really? How can I get in touch with this real self?' How can I become myself?" One can never get to the point of even asking this question as long as he/she is paralyzed in the victim state of mind and blaming people and circumstances for his/her reality.

Victims and people who care for and work with them should use empowerment techniques to move out of the rut of victim thinking. Empowerment teaches people to take control of their own lives by restoring a sense of personal hardship to explore and discover the "real self" which is referred to by Carl Rogers.

Q & A

A stranger broke into my house and raped me. I am a victim of a heinous crime. I did not deserve what happened to me. This person has robbed me of my piece of mind, any sense of security and trust in men. How can I empower myself to move out of this victim thinking that controls me.

What you have experienced is very traumatic. Your healing, however, has to begin with you taking responsibility for your feelings, verbalizing them and learning how what happened to you affects how you think and how you respond to people and situations.
Professional counsel is advised to help you through this process. Seek out a good mental health therapist or call your local Rape Crisis Center.

Child Sexual Abuse
Child sexual abuse is a growing epidemic in today's world. Most parents have concerns about ways to protect their children. Parents should limit a child's contact with any known sex offender. There are also several warning signs parents, teachers, and other adults can look for as indicators of a child who has been sexually abused.

• Nightmares, trouble sleeping, fear of the dark
• Sudden mood swings: rage, fear, anger, or withdrawal
• Fear of certain people or places
• An older child behaving like a younger child (bedwetting, thumb-sucking)
• Sexual activities with toys or other children
• Self-injurious behavior (cutting or burning self intentionally)
• Unexplained bruises, redness, or bleeding of the child's genitals, anus or mouth
• Pain at the genitals, anus or mouth

Please note that this is not a complete list of warning signs. Also, some of the behavioral warning signs can appear during other stressful times in a child's life (divorce, death of a loved one, etc.)

If you are concerned that you know a child who might be a victim of abuse or for more information, please contact:
East/West Feliciana Office of Community Services - (225) 683-3734
Local Police Department - 911
New Beginnings - (225) 638-9750
Pointe Coupee Office of Community Services (225) 638-4846
STOP IT NOW! - 1-888-PREVENT