Alcoholism

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Alcoholism is a disease that is destructive to the user as well as to his/her family, friends and co-workers. Friends and family often feel just as trapped as the alcoholic. It is important for those in close relationships with the alcoholic to get help themselves to learn about the disease, to understand the facts and myths associated with it, and to learn how to break the hold that alcoholism has to them.

Family members often unconsciously adapt to the alcoholic's behavior by changing their own behavior out of love for the user or to help minimize their own feelings. Some of the roles that family members assume are:
(1) The Rescuer: keeps the alcoholic from accepting responsibility for his/her behavior by bailing him/her out, making excuses, or filling in.
(2) The Caretaker: makes sure that the alcoholic has as little responsibility as possible.
(3) The Rebel: misbehaves or displays attention seeking behavior to divert attention from the real problem.
(4) The Hero: diverts attention by being an over-achiever.
(5) The Blamer: pins the fault for all the family problems on the alcoholic.
(6) The Adjuster: becomes apathetic to escape the problem.

These roles, which are ways that people react to alcoholics, help shield him/her from experiencing the full impact of the harmful consequences of behavior. This behavior is termed enabling. Enabling differs from helping in that it permits or allows the alcoholic to be irresponsible.

Family members and friends should not put off facing the reality that alcohol and/or chemical dependency is a progressive illness that gets increasingly worse as the use of mood-altering chemicals continues. Start not to learn, understand, and plan for recovery.