Co-Dependency

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WHAT IS CO-DEPENDENCY?
“Co-Dependency” is a set of self defeating, compulsive behaviors which cause a person to have difficulty with relationships. These behaviors have often been taught and reinforced in a dysfunctional family system, where they have enabled the person to cope and survive.

As one continues to live and grow, these survival mechanisms are outgrown, and instead of helping, they begin to seriously hinder the person. Often the behaviors revolve around a set of rigid rules that the person has incorporated such as “Don't talk about it,” “Don't have feelings,” “Don't be yourself,” “Don't have needs,” or “Don't rock the boat.”

Basically four types of dysfunction in families are seen to produce co-dependency in its members. These are: 1) chemical dependency 2) abuse of spouses or children 3) mental or chronic physical illness denied or inappropriately handled and 4) a profound religious or rigid moral system.

The common factors all of these families share are: shame, denial, rigidity, unmet needs, and repression of feelings (positive and negative).

TEN QUESTIONS
Do you....

1. Find it easier to be concerned about others than yourself?
2. Ever wonder what it is about you that attracts needy and dependent people?
3. Need and seek approval from others more often than you would like?
4. Have trouble accepting personal criticism?
5. Find it easier to give in to others than to stand up for what you want or believe in?
6. Feel inadequate and guilty when you cannot help someone for whom you feel responsible?
7. Sometimes feel resentful toward those you are trying to help?
8. Fear change, even if it means staying in a painful situation or relationship?
9. Have a vague bu persistent sense of being cheated by life?
10. Experience stress related physical symptoms, i.e. Headaches, gastro-intestinal complaints, neck and back tension, sleep problems?