Divorce

---

Divorce is something that effects almost everyone in today's society, both adults and children. Research has shown that divorce is one of the most difficult things a person can go through considering it is such a life-altering event. One of the biggest challenges an adult can face at this time is going from a two-parent home to a single-parent home. As a parent it may be difficult to communicate with your child about divorce.

Below are a few tips to help you with communication as well as general tips one could use in everyday living.

1. It is very important to be honest with your children. It is important to not underestimate a child because of age; children are very perceptive. They need to be able to openly ask questions and get honest answers that are in a language they can understand. It is important not to blame or make the other spouse the bad one during this process.
2. Reassure your children that it is not their fault. Explain that getting a divorce is an adult decision that has nothing to do with them.
3. Listen quietly. Try not to interrupt your child with "fix-it" statements.
4. Let your child know that any response to the divorce is ok. Many children do not want to show their emotions in front of their parents because they feel it will upset them.
5. Let your child know that it is normal to want their parents to get back together. Children can feel ashamed about this wish.
6. Reassure your child of personal safety. Make sure they know they will still be clothed and fed. It is important to note that in single-mother homes they need to be reassured that they will be safe in case of a burglary, etc.
7. Ask your child about friends of theirs whose parents are divorced. This is a good way to learn about your child's fears and assumptions concerning divorce. It also gives you, the parent, a chance to clear up any misconceptions they may have.
8. Do not put your child in the middle and make them take sides. Do not say anything about your former spouse within earshot of the child. Do not make your child send your messages. Children need to be able to love both parents. If you do participate in this behavior your child may withdraw from you in an attempt to avoid being put in the middle. It can lead to becoming dishonest and it will make an already hard situation that much more difficult.
9. Spend time with caring friends. Having a supportive network can protect your child from becoming confidante and feeling responsible for your emotional well being.
10. Read together and talk about a book on divorce for children. This will help facilitate meaningful communication about divorce between you and your child.